Strangest of these are the 'F**ing Couples', who are literally that-naked people stone-facedly rutting away in random locations around America. You steer Lula 3D around, trying not to get seasick at the constant undulation of her hips, picking up items that she stuffs into her bra for safekeeping, supposedly being turned on by her sexy adventures, but really just wincing at the sight of hands passing through flesh and the cast of zombie nudists scattered across her American road-trip. Mostly, the adventuring is traditional enough. Technically, it's a bad ending, but it's much, much quicker than playing through the rest, so overall it wins. Amusingly, there's an option to 'just leave it to the police' and skip playing the whole game. Also, three porn star triplets have been abducted from Lula 3D's mansion, and she decides to go find them.

You quickly find out why you're here-sins committed in a previous life. 'In this beautiful weather, the spinach grows great, too!' Seriously, what? 'Hi Verena,' she greets one wandering naked zombie lady. Very flat, is what I'm getting at, and not helped by the baffling script. Lula 3D moves around it like a truck, showing off the fact that she has roughly a million more polygons than the rest of the cast put together, with voice acting inversely proportional to her secondary sexual characteristics. No, that starts at Lula 3D's house, which also doubles as her personal porn empire, complete with penis-shaped pool, shower block with ensuite lesbians, and other worrying glimpses into the designers' psyches. None of this has anything to do with the game, of course.

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